yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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