what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
