I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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