my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
