Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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