Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
