no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
