you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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