I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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