All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
