Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
