Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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