Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
