I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
