How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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