also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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