Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
