Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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