your room smells of hookers.
And success
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
