Don't you send me to vm
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need a beard to bite.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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