It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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