I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
