I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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