Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
