I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
