OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
