Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
