all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
