Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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