Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
