im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
