We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
