She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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