didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i out mim tonsoeep
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
