oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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