Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
