Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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