i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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