real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i don't like sucking hair
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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