so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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