I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
