Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
