Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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