also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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