Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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