Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
