you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
