I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
