she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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