i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
