If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
