Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she looked like the before picture.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
