I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
