I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
