Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
