We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
