Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
