I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
